Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
