your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
