I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
