And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
