But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
