grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
