Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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