Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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