apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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