Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
