She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
