Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
