I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
