we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
