omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
