is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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