GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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