He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
