At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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