You just made me feel so damn special
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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