All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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