no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
