if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
