i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
