where am i from again
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
