I met the friendliest cop last night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
