we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
