I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
