My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
