the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
