I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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