I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
