you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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