If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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