im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
