I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
only if we run a train.
done.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
