Four minutes until I can fart!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
