Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
