i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
