after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
