she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
