let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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