her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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