i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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