i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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