Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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