One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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