I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
