I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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