omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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