Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
