capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
