Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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