I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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