hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
