I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
