I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
