Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
