...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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