Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
