He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
